Thursday, March 04, 2010

How the local council drones process your application

What needs to be done is that the Chartered Engineer's calculations for every aspect of the new house should indeed be rechecked. They should be rechecked by a committee of professional peer reviewers of appropriate qualification and standing in the community. These appropriate folk would, of course, be registered with the Council, but only after undertaking rigorous, culturally aware auditing courses at a recognised educational establishment (properly established under legislation and registered naturally enough), followed by professional examinations and an interview vetting process to weed out unsuitable candidates.

Once the engineering peer reviewers had all had their say and assuming the calculations and design passed their attentions, then it would be up to the local planning permission under-committe to consider the works documentation. Again, these would be professionals appropriately registered with Council but only after proper selection processes had been attended to in order to weed out any possibility of irresponsible malcontents and the like.

After the local planing permission under-committee had afixed their stamp and wax seals and ribbons to the consent documents, then it would be the responsibility of the central planning committee to review the work presented to them. After that the planning and cultural peer review super-city senior over-committee would deliberate (they only meet quarterly in order to save money- we mustn't be extravagant with ratepayer funds don't you know). If they were happy with everything then they'd recommend sending the documentation back to the central planning committee who in turn would recheck and finally issue their recommendation for the local planning permission under-committee to add some more wax seals and ribbons and stamps before signing the documents (but not before having the Chartered Engineer, the builder, the owner, his insurer, the bank holding the mortgage and anyone else involved signing an official indemnification form (#325B) in triplicate).

The final check and approval would be made by Central Government's Department of Final Approvals in Wellington, but only after all the appropriate fees had been paid (in triplicate). Now the applicant is ready to file their application for insurance with the Official Insurance Office (a branch of Government) which would apply an approval system to weed out any inappropriate building designs (the process is too elaborate and long winded to go into here as space does not permit) prior to the applicant seeking appropriate insurance froim an appropriate government approved insurer.

Everyone can rest assured that the system is successful.


Flogged in-toto from LGM (3/3 0705) at Not PC


Oswald Bastable said...

Trouble is, they still leak!

PM of NZ said...

Yes, Os, they may. But like the Quality Control beast at least we will have the paper trail.

The paper trail that proves the repeatability of erecting world class leaky buildings.

And allows the practitioners to assume the mantle of Coke-bottled sloping shoulders should anyone point the finger.

I can hear them. 'Not our responsibility, we signed that off here...'