How old is Grandma?
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
- polio shots
- frozen foods
- contact lenses
- Frisbees and
- the pill
There were no:
- credit cards
- laser beams or
- ball-point pens
Man had not yet invented:
- air conditioners
- clothes dryers
- and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
- man hadn't yet walked on the moon
Your Grandfather and I got married first, then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir.". And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir."
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centres, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our own actions.
Serving your country was a privilege, living in this country was a bigger privilege.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins and time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends - not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD's, electric typewriters, yoghurt or guys wearing earrings. We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny and the Queens speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Bill Haley.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a bus and a Coke were all 5 old pennies. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your 5p on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Ford Anglia for £600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because petrol was 11p a gallon.
In my day:
- "grass" was mowed,
- "coke" was a cold drink,
- "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
- "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
- "Aides" were helpers in the Principal's office,
- "chip" meant a piece of wood,
- "hardware" was found in a hardware store and
- "software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.
So - How old do you think I am?
I bet you have this real old lady in mind. You are in for a shock!
Read on to see - pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.
Are you ready???
I am only 59 years old, born in 1952.
Hopefully this gives you young ones something to think about.
Fresh off the wire and flogged without apology...