Scripted by Mills and Boon - You will be disappointed

A more likely story is that Hughes and the Student spent the evening drinking. Hughes discovered that the Student was straight but, since the earlier incident with the ACT staffer, he has come to realise that you can be just friends with a straight bloke and not have to start waving your cock around. Anyway, they discover that they have a mutual interest in art and Hughes invites the student back around to King’s house so that Hughes can sketch the student naked. Like Kate Winslet in Titanic, but without Celine Dion singing.

The sketching goes well. Hughes turns out to be as accomplished at drawing as he was as Minister of Statistics. But things start going wrong when Annette King arrives home. She has been out for the evening dining with Parekura Horomia and found herself quite turned on. However she remembers that Horomia is married and that sex with a colleague is unethical, even if it is just a quickie around the back of the KFC. Unfortunately her flat mate is a bloke and gay and so she is resigned to going to bed horny and frustrated.

Until she finds a naked Student in her lounge. She rips off her clothes, including her leopard skin thong, and throws herself at the Student. He takes one look at her saggy old woman tits and screams. Hughes is confronted with a frenzied old woman and tries to prise her off the Student. But the only weapon he can find is a Swiss ball and it has no effect no matter how hard he beats her. As he runs to the kitchen to fill up a saucepan full of cold water, the Student manages to wriggle free and bolts for the door. As he leaves he resigns his membership of Labour Youth, realising that a life in the parliamentary Labour Party isn’t as glamorous as he was led to believe as a Youth MP.

The Police pick up the Student. He lays a complaint against King. Police investigate her, and also Hughes for assault with a sex toy. Unfortunately the media get the wrong end of the stick and think that it was Hughes who took advantage of the 18 year old. Phil Goff wants to make the real story public, but cannot comment about an ongoing investigation. Some months later, the Police finally decide that the assault with the Swiss ball was technically illegal but there is no point taking the case to trial since no jury would convict.

The Student is embarrassed about being humped by a wrinkled pensioner and decides not to press charges. Toad pops up on Kiwiblog to tell us there is nothing illegal about a 72 year old woman having monkey sex with an 18 year old boy, and in fact that happens all the time in the Green Party. Hughes and Jacinda Ardern holiday at Paul Henry’s house. Hughes thinks that Henry is a bad boy and he’d like to be more like him. Ardern secretly thinks she can turn Hughes straight. All are disappointed.

As we all know, where there's smoke and more is being told by what is not being said...

The whole sordid saga - right here. Priceless.