Petting Nanny

Kidz in Gordonistan are about to be banned from petting animals says Nanny.

 parents should "think very hard" about letting children under five touch the animals at petting farms

Apparently modern kidz have not consumed enough of their bushel of dirt to ward off such bacteria, so banning is the fix.

 admitted that he was "not terribly happy" with the idea of under-fives touching ruminants such as lambs, calves and young goats

Time for a Tui.   

Rugrats should be walked regularly through a warm cow pat or two in bare feet to harden up.  As for the bureaucrat, a real nanny with horns would deal properly to him.