Thursday, April 10, 2008

Why are South Australians such weirdos?

A dingo asks the hard questions we suspect apply equally to more than a few on the West Island.
Ask a South Australian about their state and they’ll brag about how they were the only ones not to get convicts and how they were the first place in the world to give women the vote.

They think they’re so good.

So how do they explain all the weirdos?

Case in point - that weird incest couple. You’ve heard the story. A father is so overjoyed to be reunited with his daughter he shacks up with her and has a kid.

That’s pretty weird.

And what about Lleyton Hewitt? This is a man who has had the tiny scrap of gravitas he might have once possessed surgically removed. A man whose antics clearly show he’s still a child.

You’ve got to admit he’s pretty weird.

And what about Bad Boy Bubby? I mean come on, if you’re looking for evidence for incestuous relationships and eccentric man-boys look no further than this film. Guess where it was made? That’s right, South Australia.

Oh and what about Snowtown? Killing people, putting them in barrels of acid inside the local bank and claiming their welfare cheques.

That’s definitely weird.

And what is it with sharks down there?

Go anywhere near the water and you’re likely to lose your arm to an inbred mass murdering white pointer.

And what about McLeods Daughters? It sucks.

And crow eating. Why would you want to?

And what about Alexander Downer? What a plummy-voiced ponce. And that failed terrorist David Hicks? Things are pretty grim when you can’t even get martyrdom right.

Jeepers. It must be something in the water...and don't they have two uranium mines there, and isn't one a dam? That's a bit suss, anyway. Clearly the only reason they never got any convicts was because no-one was mean enough to send them there. And the only reason they gave women the vote was because all the blokes were so weird.

Nice one, couldn't agree more, Tim.

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