Buggered if you do and buggered if you don't

One minute:

Pumping ozone wreckers into the sky will apparently keep the hole open, so if you fail to fry in a wave of carcinogenic UV radiation, you'll drown as the tidal wave from melting Antarctic ice inundates your favourite Kiwi beach.

Nek Minnit:

Having removed the ozone f**kers, the hole will self repair and is forecast to close, apparently beause of heat trapping, you'll still drown as the tidal wave from melting Antarctic ice inundates your favourite Kiwi beach.


Come on you pricks in academia, let's have some settled science on these natural phenomena!