Saturday, June 03, 2023

Solving crime: It was those pesky Russians!

Someone did a five-fingered heist (albeit using a HIAB) during the graveyard shift on a cannon along Jafaland's waterfront.  By all counts an ancient relic re-distributed long ago from a place called Sebastapol during the so-called "Russian scare".

Look over there!  A squirrel!  A pile of metal catches fires in East Auckland.  Initially reported as being East Jafaland as prevailing winds blew the smoke over the yuppie eastern suburbs.  And the PIJF funded media is ever desparate to portray South Auckland as being free of the criminal classes.  Unfortunately, no amount of geographic contortions will hide the fact this bone-yard is located in central South Jafaland in Favona.

Then the third "coincidence" in the news.  Some eagle-eyed reader spotted Vlad is looking to establish an outpost in the Chatham Islands when he gets evicted from his current home by the Ukranians.  So his Wagner deputies are obviously collecting suitable weaponry for when they invade the place.  I did wonder how the current genocidal colonisers of those isles will take to their terrority being overtaken by modern invaders to build their new dachas?

See, solving crime is easy!  It was those pesky Russkies all along.

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