New species identified in Labour electorate

• They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing, and spasmatic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkward shuffling gait. 
• The "drag-crotch" shape also seems to effect brain function.  
• Expect no eye contact or intelligent verbal communication. 
• History shows that this species mostly voted for Labour and receives full government care. 
• Unfortunately most are highly fertile.

fresh off the wire...